Life Begins Anew
by TayTay4936
Summary: After the events of Saw II, Amanda and Daniel find that maybe there's more to life than they thought afterall.
1. Introduction

**Author's Notes: **Hi, well, this isn't my first fanfic, but it is my first posted on this site and also my first time writing for the Saw series, so any feedback is appreciated.

I know I'm one of very few people who see an AmandaxDaniel relationship when I watch Saw II, but I do and I felt writing a fic for them would help satisfy my need to see them.

Finally, I know the name of Daniel's mother was never mentioned in any of the films, so I decided to go with Jeanine.

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><p>Jeanine POV<p>

I walk into Daniel's room. It's a Saturday morning and I know he and Luis were up late last night so they'll probably still be asleep, but I can't help going in to check on them. When your only child gets abducted and almost killed by someone known to kill in such gruesome ways and somehow miraculously makes it out alive, you tend to become a little overprotective and paranoid to let them out of your sight.

I open the door to Daniel's room as quietly as possible so I won't disturb them, but once I have a full view of the room I realize there's no one there.

I immediately start panicking and fearing the worst. What if Jigsaw took him again? What if he gets killed and I never see my baby again?

I start searching the room frantically, throwing pillows and blankets around hastily hoping to find some kind of sign of Daniel. It's when I go over to his desk that I see a folded piece of paper with one word written on it:

_Mom_

TBC

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><p>So there's a start. I know it's not much, but I promise I will go back and explain in coming chapters (which will be much longer). Also, I'm not sure about the title. Any ideas I'd be glad to hear.<p>

Also, I have give a shoutout to LitaE. I was inspired to try my hand at an AmandaxDaniel story after reading her stories involving them. I'm nowhere near her level, but those stories were inspiration nonetheless. Minor elements of the characters were borrowed from her but I am in no way trying to copy her amazing work.


	2. John Wayne to the Rescue

One Month Earlier

Daniel POV

I'm sitting in the stupid little holding area they have in the mall, waiting for the Almighty Eric Matthews to make an appearance. I've already been sitting in this annoyingass chair for four hours, not that I'm at all surprised, though. On the list of Detective Eric Matthews' priorities I've never been anywhere near the top.

He's always been a cop. If I had to define the man in one word that's what it would easily be; cop. He's never been much of a husband to my mom; I remember growing up when they were married and we all lived in the same house. He was never home and when he was, I could always hear him screaming at her. Sometimes I'd walk into the room and see him standing over her, roaring like an angry god, and look at my mom's face and see this look of just absolute fear and terror.

I don't think he ever hit her, though my mom always tried her best to keep me away from all the "bad things" of the world, so I can't be sure.

And as for his status as a father? I'm pretty sure that would be obvious. I was another weight holding him down, another infliction he had to deal with when he couldn't be at work.

He hated that I was so attached to my mom when I was a kid, too. Since he wasn't home much, most of the time it was just me and Mom. All we had was each other. She took care of me...so when after he would go into one of his rages and I'd run to my mom and hug her, he'd get pissed at me for being a "mama's boy", saying I had to "toughen up".

We did have a few good times together. Once I was older, when he was in a decent mood we could talk sometimes just about random bullshit. Those times were good, but few and far between.

For the most part, though, when he wasn't enraged over one thing or another when he was home, he was always high-strung, like he couldn't wait to get out of this prison Mom and I kept him in and escape back to work.

Maybe this was one of the reasons I despised Detective Kerry so much when I found out she and my dad were having an affair.

When my mom told me she and my dad were getting a divorce, I was actually happy and relieved, but when she told me that he had been having an affair with his partner, I was pissed. He couldn't spend a whole weekend with me and Mom much less even attempt to have any kind of civil relationship with her, but he was able to have an actual romantic relationship with this random bitch?

I'd met her once or twice before...never liked her. She was always condescending and in cop-mode 24/7, so I guess in that sense, she and my dad, or Eric, I should say, were perfect for each other. I couldn't help resenting her though.

Ah. Here comes Mr. Big Man now, strutting in with a cigarette like some John Wayne wannabe.

He starts giving me this bullshit lecture. Please.

"_Why you such a cop 24/7?"_

I don't know why I even bothered asking that. That's the way he's always been. I guess I'd just finally had it.

"_Hey, it's called being a father."_

Now that was so ridiculous it was laughable.

"_Trust me, you're better at being a cop."_

I was done with this whole 'father-son weekend' bullshit. He had spent the entire weekend at the station and now he was lecturing me in a half-assed attempt at being a father figure.

"_I just think I should go back to Mom's early."_

Of course, he gets all pissed and alpha-male on me. We argue for a minute then he screams at me leave.

"_Well, then go!"_

Fine, I'm out of here.

I get in my car and drive away.

But I never make it back to my mom's.

TBC

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><p>Reviews are love :)<p> 


	3. Awakening

Daniel POV

I wake up, feeling pretty groggy, and slowly sit up. I realize I'm sitting on a floor, but I'm not in my room. My eyes snap open dart around quickly.

I'm in some sort of room with no windows. There are other people in here, too. They all slowly start to wake up with the same confusion I'm feeling. After a few minutes, there's only one person who hasn't gotten up yet. A woman with short hair is laying face down. I'm too scared to check if she's alive or dead. I just scoot back until I'm in the corner of the room.

We're all inspecting the room in our own ways when one of the others goes over to check on the woman on the floor. When he says she's still breathing, let out a silent sigh of relief. I don't do good with death. Yeah, I watch horror movies all the time, but real-life death scares the shit out of me.

Figures my father would be a homicide detective. He spends his days surrounded by something that I can't stand. And seeing an actual dead body? I'm not sure I could handle that.

Anyway, not long after that guy says she's alive, the others start to freak out. It's when a blonde woman points out the camera watching us that I find that I have something useful to contribute to the conversation.

"No," I let out with a sigh. "Those types of cameras don't have sound."

A guy in a suit starts freaking out; it's when he says that we've been kidnapped that the fear and nervousness that I felt when I first woke up here and tried my best to hide start coming to the surface. We're really locked in a room with no way out and none of us know how we got there.

I start scratching myself, something I've done when I get nervous for as long as I can remember.

A woman with long brown hair says she hears a ticking coming from the door. This gets my attention and I slowly rise to my feet. A second later, the woman who was just lying on the floor wakes up with loud gasping breaths, as if she were choking. Everyone just stands back and silently watches her for a second. When she starts hacking, I get a little anxious. I've always hated seeing people, especially women after everything my mom went through, in pain.

The same guy who checked on her earlier pushes her against a wall to calm her down and get her attention. She says her name is Amanda. When he tells her he doesn't know where we are and that we all just woke up here...I wasn't expecting that kind of reaction. She started screaming and ripping the old ripped material from the walls.

She begins frantically searching for something, eventually pulling out a mini tape recorder with a shaking hand.

As the tape plays, my fears, and I think everyone's fears, heighten. Yes, I remember all too clearly watching the news reports about the Tokyo subway attacks, feeling sick to my stomach just hearing, much less seeing what this gas could do to the body.

One of the guys finds a key with a note attached. Amanda tells him to obey the note, but he puts the key on the door anyway.

A gunshot echoes loudly throughout the room and the guy in the suit collapses, blood splattering.

I've never seen anyone die before; I just stand there in shock, my eyes wide.

Amanda says it's the Jigsaw Killer that's doing this to us. I remember hearing about him a lot, both on the news and from my dad. Apparently his little girlfriend specialized in the Jigsaw murders.

When asked how she knows everything she does, Amanda says she's played before.

Her? She's beautiful and young. What could she possibly have done to make some sick guy put her through a life-or-death test...twice?

Yes, I admit. When she first woke up and started searching the room, filled with hysteria and panic, for a second one thought crossed my mind.

_She's beautiful._

TBC


	4. Compassion in a Time of Crisis

Daniel POV

After listening to the tape, we all immediately started searching the room, seeing as at the moment there was no way out and into the rest of the "house" as the tape said. Well, most of us were searching. The blonde girl, who seemed to still be traumatized into a daze by seeing someone shot in the head, just sat in the corner, slightly shaking.

One of the other guys didn't search either; a thin bald man in a hoodie just stood there watching the rest of us. He was freaking me out I bit, to be honest. There was just something about him that unnerved me.

After a while of constantly coming into contact with the dead body in the room, I decided to cover his head and the giant bloody hole there. I couldn't stand seeing that anymore.

After searching the room for a while, we were all startled by a loud sound. Slowly, the door started to creak open. One of the guys went over to check the door while I went to the blonde in the corner to help her up.

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><p>As soon as we got out of the room, the arguing began. A guy with what looked like a prison tattoo on his arm (and definitely a "macho man" complex) decided he wanted to go off on his own to find an antidote for himself.<p>

Even so, we all eventually followed in his direction, checking things here and there as we went along.

We came to another room with a door with a giant _EXIT _painted on it. The key that came with the tape recorder didn't work on that door either, making Mr. Man toss the key in frustration. The black guy, who seemed to be the kind of person who always strives to be a peacemaker, picked up the key and put it in his pocket.

The one with the prison tattoo decided to try to bust down the door with the baseball bat, with nails sticking out of it, he had found. I merely sat on the old rickety steps and waited, flinching with each blow.

Surprise, surprise...There was a steel wall behind the door. Wonderful. More arguing ensued and I just sat and watched, feeling the same nervous tension I used to feel when my dad was in one of his rages and I could hear him screaming at my mom from my room down the hall.

Amanda and the blonde woman came into the room, Amanda startling all of us by turning on the lights. It's funny that when you're in such a dire situation, you don't even think about such commonsense things as there being light switches in a house.

Apparently they hadn't found anything either. The man who had tried to be a peacemaker before, whose name was apparently Jonas, was trying to find some sort of connection between all of us. Three of them, it turned out, had been to jail or prison. It was just when this conclusion was made that the blonde one exclaimed that she had found a door in the wall.

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><p>We all went through, one by one, down a flight of stairs to what I guessed was a basement of sorts. There looked to be another dead body, this one in a chair, hunched over a desk. I was about to start panicking again. Just then, I found the light switch this time, and turned it on right when the head of the body was pulled up. It turned out to just be a large doll; a doll with a creepy-ass face, but a doll nonetheless. Stabbed through its clothing was an envelope with <em>OBI <em>written on it. Apparently that was the name of the until that moment silent bald guy who had been creeping me out this whole time. Inside the envelope was another tape.

Apparently he had helped whoever was doing this kidnap the rest of us. I knew there was something...off...about him. The girl with the long brown hair broke up another potential fight by reminding us of what the tape had said. There were two antidotes in the back of the oven in the middle of the room. I voiced my questioning thoughts about who would get the two antidotes.

Just as the guy with the prison tattoo was telling me we'd work it out after we'd gotten them out of the oven, the blonde girl collapsed to the floor. I saw Amanda go over to her to comfort her. I had to admire her for that. So far I'd seen the guy with the tattoo out for himself and Jonas, who tried to keep everyone calm and level-headed, but this was the first time I'd seen any of the others try to help each other, and it was Amanda doing it. None of the others even paid much attention to the collapsed girl in the corner. I internally smiled a little. I was starting like this Amanda girl that much more.

Obi crawled into the oven to retrieve the needles under the condition that he get one of them. As he was pulling the second of the two down, the door to the oven closed and locked and a fire started inside. My eyes grew to about the size of saucers. We tried to open the door but it wouldn't budge. I went around to the back of the oven and saw a window. The guy with the nail-bat busted the window and Obi, covered in burns, slowly began to crawl out, screaming in agony. It had been no use, though. He died before he could get all the way out, the half of his body that had gotten out of the oven falling over limply.

While we were trying to get him out, all of the girls were in different parts of the room, crying. We were all visibly upset by seeing this guy burned alive, except the guy with the tattoo; he was just pissed the needles had melted in the oven. I couldn't believe someone could be so heartless.

I heard Amanda grab something and head back up the stairs, saying along the lines of "He had a choice." I wasn't sure what she meant by that. I helped the blonde woman up and we followed Amanda up the stairs.

As soon as got into the room, the blonde collapsed in the corner. I couldn't bear to see someone like this. I went over to her and tried to get her to focus. She placed her hand on mine and started talking about how much she had left to do in life. I lifted my head and looked at her. Seeing someone so weak and yet wanting so much to live, to maybe change things she'd done, revitalized me. I decided then and there that I would do whatever it took to get myself and whoever I could out of here...alive.

TBC

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><p>I know I've only gotten one review, but I've been seeing that more and more people are reading this story and I just want to thank you guys so much. The fact that anyone is reading anything I write is amazing to me and makes my day. Really. The next update should be coming soon.<p> 


	5. Flawed Angel

Daniel POV

I looked over and saw Amanda looking around the room, checking again for anything we may have missed before. I knew that if she had survived one of these "games" before, she had to be strong, and based on how she had acted earlier, she had compassion, at least more than that macho guy had by a long shot. Maybe there was a chance we could make it out of here afterall. If we helped each other, there was no reason we couldn't make it out together.

I stood up and addressed her, though she was acting distracted, not fully listening to me. It was when I said we could survive that she stopped. She had a thoughtful look on her face. I wasn't quite sure what it meant. It was then that a thought occurred to me.

"_Amanda, why did he pick you?"_

At this point, I felt I had to know. What could she have done in her past to make her end up here?

"_Because I was a fuckin junkie."_

I had to admit I was a little surprised, but what caught me off guard was the look on her face when she said it, like she was pissed at and disgusted with herself for what she'd done.

"_And the funny thing is...I passed his little test."_

Now I was confused.

"_If you passed, his test, then why are you back here?"_

She got another distant look on her face, as if she were remembering, but this time it wasn't a look of disgust or anger, just sadness.

"_I wasn't being very good to myself."_

Her words were whispered, and I felt like I was invading her personal space, so I averted my eyes away from hers, first behind her, and then down. It was then that I noticed the track marks on her arms. I tried to ask her how long she'd been using, but my words were fumbling over each other, seeing the reality of it. It was hard to imagine someone so beautiful being addicted...to the point where she was reusing needles over and over again, scarring such seemingly flawless skin.

"_It started in jail."_

Wait. She had already been in jail when she started? Then...

"_What were you arrested for?"_

"_Possession."_

That didn't make sense. Why would she be arrested for drugs before she was even on them?

She made a remark about the cop who arrested her. Was it planted on her? Was she framed? I couldn't imagine someone doing that to someone else. Well, I could definitely imagine it, knowing all the assholes my dad had worked with over the years, but I just couldn't understand _why _someone would be so cruel.

She started asking me about being arrested. I almost let slip what my dad did for a living, but I caught myself just in time. Figuring she had no love lost for cops, I didn't want her to know I was the son of one. She might get pissed and decide to abandon me...and that was the last thing I wanted.

I started scratching myself out of nervousness again, trying to come up with something to say. What finally came out of my mouth was in fact the truth, though. My dad probably _did _have half the city out looking for me, and not because he was worried about me and just wanted me back and safe, so he could find me as quickly as possible and then kick my ass for disappearing. I had to chuckle slightly at how ridiculous and yet true that was.

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><p>It was then Jonas showed up, saying the others had found a door. I went over to the blonde woman and helped her up. We followed behind Amanda and Jonas up the stairs where the other two were trying to get the door open.<p>

"_If it's stuck, it's a trap,"_

I heard Amanda call from where she was standing. The nerves were starting to rise up in me again. What would we possibly have to face next?

TBC

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> I'm sorry this chapter's so short. I originally meant for this chapter and the one that comes after it to be one chapter, but I guess my muse thought differently. The next part will be up very soon though.


	6. Pit of Squalor

Daniel POV

I left the blonde, whose name I'd found out was Laura, on the floor and followed the others into the room once it was opened. Inside the room was another envelope with a tape inside, this time for Xavier, the one I'd been referring to in my head as the one with a "big man complex" and a tattoo.

It turned out he was a drug dealer. Fucking fantastic. Mere minutes after my conversation with Amanda, I find out the guy who's been an asshole this whole time is also a drug dealer. I thought about Amanda, and about her being addicted after she got out of jail. It must have been people like Xavier that she went to...desperate, needing, in pain. I looked at him with ice cold eyes, rage at what he'd done to people like her bubbling slowly to the surface.

It's when the voice on the tape mentions a "pit of squalor" that I focus on the bed in the middle of the room. Sensing and fearing that this is what he's referring to, I rip the quilt from the bed in one sweeping motion. I could see through the bed frame the aforementioned "pit". My heart dropped about five feet when I saw what it was filled with.

Syringes. When Xavier moved the bed I could see just how many there were. Thousands. And they were _used_. There was still blood and grime leftover from whoever they had been used by.

We all stood there, waiting. Xavier refused to get in the pit. He wanted someone else to go in for him. We were all motionless, our hearts racing, none of us sure of what to do.

I looked over at Amanda. She looked almost on the verge of tears. Talk about demons coming back to haunt her. This was definitely something she didn't need. Xavier's eyes zeroed in on her though, like an animal eyeing its prey. She tried to get away, but she wasn't fast enough. I couldn't believe it; he couldn't do this. He couldn't.

He could.

He grabbed her by her arms and lifted her in the air. She was screaming at the top of her lungs, begging him. Jonas and I were yelling at him. I screamed,

"_Let her go now!"_

But he was like a man possessed. I watched in horror as Amanda's body plummeted into the pit. It seemed to all be happening in slow motion, until she landed.

Jonas and the only other girl in the room turned away in horror, Jonas looking like he was going to be sick. But I couldn't look away. I saw the needles stabbing various parts of her body, her face contorting in first shock then pain.

Xavier had the nerve to continue yelling at her, telling her to hurry up and find the key so _he _could get the fuckin antidote that she worked for. When she rolled over onto her knees and cried out again, I tried to look away but knew it was useless. I couldn't turn my back on her when she was in such obvious agony. I watched the syringes penetrate in between her fingers as she clawed through, casting Xavier venomous looks. I was ready to kill him for making her go through this.

Finally Amanda snapped under Xavier's growls and started throwing handfuls of syringes behind her, looking for the key. I couldn't bear to watch her do this shit alone, especially for such an asshole. I said out loud that somebody had to help her. They all just stared at me. I couldn't believe these people. Not one of them cared that she was in such pain; they all just watched, silently.

I was about to jump in myself and help her when she found the key, attached to one of the syringes. Xavier grabbed it instantly, a maniacal look on his face, as Amanda just collapsed against the wall of the pit, exhausted.

As if it wasn't bad enough that Xavier made her go through that whole ordeal for his sake, he also dropped the key, causing the timer to expire before he could unlock the door. If I wasn't so focused on helping Amanda out of the pit, I would have rolled my eyes. Apparently he was not only an asshole, but a dangerous, stupid one.

I began pulling the needles from Amanda's skin when he decided it was actually her fault he hadn't gotten to the antidote. He pushed me out of the way to get to her, but Jonas held him back. The girl let out a scream like a feral cat, breaking up Jonas and Xavier. As she started talking about the details of the tapes, I went back to removing the needles.

Soon after, Laura came into the room, saying she, like the others, had been in jail. Jonas asked if I had been in juvie and I could honestly say I'd never been. Even with all the shoplifting I'd done and all the times I'd gotten into trouble, the one thing my father ever did for me was always get me out before anything serious could happen.

Jonas attempted to talk things out again, but Xavier, again, refused. He came over to me and Amanda as he was leaving, causing me to shrink back out of reflex. He stared down at her with contempt, which again pissed me off, and left the room, which I had to say I was thankful for.

TBC

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><p>Review to let me know what you think?<p> 


	7. A Piece Falls into Place

Daniel POV

Not long after Xavier left, Jonas followed suit. I was left with the three women as we all took a moment to just collect ourselves. After about a minute or two, Amanda was able to sit up. I stared at her, concern in my eyes, but she just gave me a small reassuring smile. I again had to admire how strong she was; I knew I didn't even come close.

We all filed out of the room and continued down the hall. Offhand, I asked the only one whose name I didn't know what it was. She answered, distractedly, that her name was Addison, as she kept on walking, leading us on our trek down the hall. It wasn't long before Laura, who was being supported by Amanda, collapsed again. Amanda got down on the floor with her and held her, knowing, like I did, that Laura probably wasn't going to make it. Addison tried to somewhat improve our morale by saying that we only had an hour before the front door to the house would open, but it was clear that we wouldn't last that long. Amanda said such, causing Addison to comment on her pessimistic attitude.

I knew, though, that she wasn't trying to look on the downside; she was just being realistic, especially with Laura lying practically dead in her arms. Afterall, Amanda had been through one of these games before. She knew first-hand the reality and gravity of the situation.

It was just after I'd made a comment that I heard Laura's breathless, exhausted voice. She pointed to a picture hanging on the wall with the glass of its frame broken in the shape of an X.

_X marks the spot._

I watched as the picture was taken down and turned over. Addison pulled something from the back of the frame and looked at me with wide eyes.

"_What are you doing with him?"_

She flipped over what I saw was a picture of me and my dad. I took it from her and examined it. She asked in surprise if the guy in the picture was in fact my father. I had no idea how she knew him.

I just stared at the picture, slightly shaking my head as she told me that he had set her up. I heard Amanda's voice come quietly from behind me.

"_Tell me that's not your father."_

She sounded heartbroken. To think...earlier I couldn't imagine someone villainous enough to want to frame her, and it turned out that it was my old man who had done it. I was in shock. I mean...I knew he was an asshole to me and my mom, but I had no idea he was as merciless on people as a cop, too.

I looked from Amanda, who had turned her head from me in sadness, to Addison, trying to say something to comfort them, but I couldn't find the words...any words for that matter, I was still reeling from finding out all of this new information, leaving me speechless.

Just then, I heard moaning and gurgling from behind me and turned to find Laura in the throes of what looked to be a seizure. I knew this was it for her. Amanda, again showing her compassion and strength, attempted to comfort and calm her, whispering soothingly, even as vomit and blood spilled from Laura's mouth.

I, however, being the weak person I've always been, had to look away. I couldn't watch as Laura took her last struggling breaths.

Looking at Addison didn't help much, though, because she just gave me this look, her eyes telling me that I had completely betrayed her. I looked down and then glanced back towards Amanda and Laura's now lifeless body.

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><p>It wasn't long after that that Addison, deciding that now neither of us were trustworthy, left Amanda and I alone in the hallway. I looked over at Amanda as she got to her feet.<p>

"_Now we know what we have in common."_

The sound of her voice just about broke me. I tried to reassure her that I didn't know. I had no idea what kind of a cop my dad was, no idea he had fucked up the lives of so many people.

We both turned as we heard Xavier's voice in the distance, calling out for us. Amanda walked hastily in the direction of his voice, her face still holding evidence of anger and betrayal. All I could do was call out feebly, scared of being on my own in this place, but mostly hurt that it was her, this woman that I had grown attached to at what anyone on the outside would considering an alarming rate, who was abandoning me.

"_Please don't leave me."_

TBC

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><p>I know this was kind of short, but I felt this was a good place to end this chapter. The next one will be up soon. Review to leave me your thoughts.<p> 


	8. LifeWorthy

Daniel POV

I'm not exactly sure what made Amanda come back to me. I was still staring at the photo of me and my dad, anger at his hand in all this building up inside my chest, when she grabbed my wrist, pulling me with her, saying we had to move.

Her voice sounded urgent, worrying me. What the hell had happened in the mere minutes she was gone?

I could hear Xavier calling out for us again, but this time, Amanda led me in a different direction. I had a sinking feeling he was the reason she was so scared.

We continued down another hallway and then down the stairs, unfortunately running smack into Xavier's path.

One side of his face was covered in blood and he was holding the knife we had found with Obi's tape. Amanda pushed me in a direction and I immediately began running down another hallway. This house was starting to feel like an endless maze.

We eventually ended up back at the beginning, so to speak, in the room we had all woken up in, and I could see what was probably what had made Amanda aware of Xavier's transition from violent asshole to full-fledged killer.

Jonas. Face-down on the floor with the nail-bat in the back of his head.

I was brought out of my daze by Addison's screams and we both knew something horrible had happened to her. She probably ended up in another of the seemingly endless contraptions this place contained.

Amanda closed the door and slumped against it. I could tell hearing those screams and not being able to do anything if we didn't want to risk running into Xavier was taking a lot out of her. As for me, the longer I heard Addison's shrieking, the more afraid I became.

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><p>I guess it was only a matter of time before Xavier figured out where we were. I went over to Amanda and helped her try to keep the door closed. For a minute she left me and I was terrified Xavier was gonna get in. I couldn't hold the door closed by myself for much longer. I watched her go over to Jonas and realized what she was doing. She ripped the nail-bat from his head and then rushed back over, swinging the bat at the bottom corner of the door, helping us secure it.<p>

Xavier wasn't giving up, though, and even with the bat we couldn't keep the door closed for much longer. I turned to Amanda, fear in my eyes, asking what to do. Over the course of this whole ordeal, I had built complete trust in her. I knew that if there was something, _anything_, that would get us out of this, she would find it.

For a second, she had a look of fear in her eyes, and I began to think that there was no escape for us, but then I heard her say something and watched her run over to where the safe was.

Apparently, the safe had been sitting on top of a fucking door this whole time. She started pushing the safe, trying to completely free the door in the floor, but it wasn't budging. When I felt the door I was leaning against wasn't going to immediately bust open once I released my weight on it, I ran over and helped her push the safe.

It took the entire body strength of both of us, but we eventually got the door free. When Amanda realized it was locked, I started panicking again, but then I remembered the key we had found earlier with the tape recorder. Remembering that Jonas was the last one who had it, I frantically started searching his pockets, growing more and more terrified the longer it took me to find it.

It's funny. At that moment, when our lives were on the line, I didn't even think about the fact that I was searching a dead body. That thought was the farthest thing from my mind.

I eventually found the key and we opened the door, leading to another flight of stairs. I had no idea where the hell we were. There were bars and pipes along the walls but I didn't see any actual rooms.

We heard the door open and knew that Xavier wasn't far behind us. Amanda grabbed me and we turned down a dark hallway. We made turn after turn; I didn't think we'd ever make it anywhere. At one point, I had to stop. The exhaustion from running, without the hope of finding anywhere to go in sight, combined with the nerve gas, which was starting to take its toll on me, made me stop.

Amanda, however, wouldn't let me. She knew, like I subconsciously did, that if I stopped for too long, Xavier would soon catch up to me and probably kill me, and if he didn't, the gas sure as hell would.

She put my arm around her shoulders and let me lean on her. Though this was beyond helpful, not to mention generous, I didn't want her to have to support all of my weight. But even when I freed her shoulders from my arm, she still held on to me, making sure I kept up with her and wouldn't collapse.

We continued on, with Xavier gaining on us.

We eventually came to what I thought was wall. I almost collapsed in defeat. All this and we were going to die anyway. But then Amanda pulled on something I didn't see and slid the wall, which I guess was actually a door, revealing a dark room. I went inside and Amanda turned on the lights.

For a second, I almost wished she hadn't.

I looked around, taking everything in. The two decaying corpses. The severed foot. The hacksaws. I couldn't imagine what had gone on here.

The shock made me collapse against a wall. As I slid to the floor, I felt something rise up in my mouth and went to wipe it away, staring in horror as I realized it was blood.

* * *

><p>It wasn't long after that that I felt myself slipping into darkness. Amanda's voice was slowly growing fainter. I could hear the sound of the door sliding open and tried my best to bring myself back to consciousness. I couldn't leave Amanda alone with Xavier. The thought of him killing her was more painful than the thought of dying from the nerve gas. It was at that moment, literally on the brink of death, that I realized I had finally found something to live for.<p>

TBC

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><p>Again thank you so so much to everyone who has been reading this story! You have no idea what it means to me. And special thank yous to those who have favorited it, added it to their alert lists, and reviewed. You make my day! :)<p> 


	9. Like Father, Not Like Son

Amanda POV

_Tell me that's not your father._

If any of the others knew who I was, that I was the apprentice of the man behind these games, they would have looked at me like I was crazy. Of course I knew Eric Matthews was Daniel's father. That was the whole point of Daniel being in here.

I couldn't keep my plea from slipping out, though, my need for reality to be different from the fucked up place it was. Daniel was so different from Eric; if I had met Daniel somewhere else, I never would have guessed he was the son of the asshole who put me away. Unlike Eric, who was arrogant and malicious, cunning and abusive, Daniel was kind and compassionate, supportive and generous.

Nothing had proven this more than when Xavier had thrown me in the needle pit. I remember staring down into the pit, the sight of the thousands of needles making me want to vomit and cry at the same time. Even though I knew that they would be there, the memories of my past still affected me, bringing the years of pain I had suffered to the surface.

That was one thing John didn't understand; that no matter whether or not I had been "reborn", my past would always be a part of me. Yes, after my test I had grown to appreciate my life, but pulling a bear trap from my head didn't teach me how to cope with all the issues I'd dealt with over the years.

Over the short time I've been under his wing, I've truly come to care for John, as the father figure I never had when I was a child, but he didn't know everything about me. He didn't know about how my father used to beat me and lock me in the closet or basement, sometimes for days, that the only way for me to have some form of control and release my pain was through cutting myself. He didn't know the struggle I went through when I was in jail, how I had fought with myself constantly, finally succumbing to the urge to use the heroin offered to me, _something _I could use to gain some control, since cutting myself wasn't an option in jail, and then fighting again to stop once I was released.

Everything with John was so simple. You do choice A, you're fixed and new and perfect; you do choice B, you're not even worthy to live long enough to try again.

But, he _did _save me, and I felt I _did _owe it to him to do as he wished.

* * *

><p>Anyway, when I landed in the pit, I was still in shock that it had happened. And the pain was excruciating. I was clawing through the syringes, just praying I'd find the damn key. Even though I had known of this trip before the game began, it was John and Hoffman who had set it up, so I really didn't know where the key was. That asshole Hoffman had hidden it well.<p>

The whole time I was searching, even with Xavier's constant orders, I could still hear Daniel, first yelling at Xavier and then even saying someone had to help me. I started searching faster and faster, fearing that if I didn't find the key soon, Daniel was gonna jump in and try to help me. I didn't want him to have to go through that, to feel the pain I was dealing with.

When I finally found the key, once I felt I was strong enough to get out of the pit, I turned and immediately saw Daniel, with a worried face and arms reaching out to pull me up. With what was definitely the gentlest touch I'd ever felt in my whole life, he pulled me out and began to slowly pull the syringes from my body, one by one.

I had seen the whole time we were in the house how much he cared about other people; the way he helped Laura when she was too weak to stand or walk on her own, the way he tried to encourage her when she felt like giving up. This was beyond that though. I could see the clear pain in his face, knowing that he hated that it was _me _who had suffered.

So unlike Eric.

I'm still not quite sure when I began to feel something for him. It may have even been as far back as before the house, when I, by order of John, had to shadow him, in order to learn more about him and his routines. I could see so much of myself in him. The father who treats you like shit, the lawbreaking in order to just burn off some steam, the constantly wearing long sleeves, even if it was hotter than hell outside. I could more than sympathize with him.

John always said my emotions were what would get me into trouble.

TBC

* * *

><p>Okay...this was my first chapter in Amanda's POV so I'm really nervous about it. Please let me know what you think.<p> 


	10. A New Revelation

Amanda POV

I left Daniel because I needed to clear my head. I felt genuine betrayal once I was reminded of who his father was, and I was hit with a hard bitchslap from reality. I was here as John's apprentice, to watch over the game and see how it pans out, and if Daniel survives, I'm to bring him to John so Eric's test can begin. I couldn't be having any feelings for Daniel. I had to be strong, solid, unattached.

All these thoughts completely left me once I saw Jonas' dead body.

Ice cold fear ran down my spine at the thought of leaving Daniel alone, prone to Xavier's madness. I returned to where I had last left Daniel as fast as I could. Luckily, he was still there, in the exact position I had left him in, in fact.

I grabbed him and led him back towards the room with the safe. I could hear Addison's screams as I closed the door. I knew I couldn't intervene. It was against the rules. But hearing yet _another _person scream in agony, I just couldn't take it.

* * *

><p>As Daniel and I stood with our backs to the door, I scrambled to figure out what to do. Yes, I knew the combination to safe, so I could easily open it and give Daniel the antidote, but that was for the nerve gas. John hadn't prepared me for murderous psychos.<p>

I looked again at Jonas' body, with the nail-bat sticking out of his head and got an idea. I ran over and, though the idea was making me sick, I ripped the bat from his head, turning away so I wouldn't have to see. I used the bat to jam the door, but even that wasn't going to hold off Xavier for much longer. He was much stronger than Daniel, I, and the bat combined. It was when I looked towards the safe again that I saw it. Jonas' blood was seeping around the outline of something in the floor, a trap door or a loose board or something.

I always hated it when John and Hoffman kept shit from me, but this was crossing the line. If I hadn't found that door when I did, I don't think either Daniel or I would have made it out of the house alive.

Once we got the door free and unlocked with the key that came with the tape recorder, we descended a flight of stairs and ended in a place I was all too familiar with. I knew that area was below where we had been in the house, but I had only been down there a different way. So I was surprised yet relieved that at least I knew _something_. We heard Xavier opening the door, so I grabbed Daniel and started leading him in the direction of the bathroom.

At one point, Daniel had to stop and I felt my heart drop. If we stopped now, Xavier would most likely kill us, and I wasn't about to leave him alone. This refusal to abandon him probably should have told me that my fate regarding Daniel Matthews was sealed, but I wasn't exactly thinking about that at the time.

I let him lean on me and eventually we made it to the bathroom. I watched him look around, his gaze shifting rapidly, taking in the carnage that had been left after Adam and Lawrence's test.

I heard him sink to the floor and watched in horror as blood spilled from his mouth. I knew that if I didn't get the antidote to him soon, he wasn't going to make it.

I watched as his eyes slowly slid closed and immediately went over to check on him. I felt something plummet in my chest when I couldn't feel a pulse. I'd failed him. At that point, I wasn't thinking about John and my job in the game. All I could think was that I had failed Daniel, the one who trusted me and cared for me; the one I had developed strong feelings for at what anyone else would say was an alarming rate.

I watched as Xavier entered the room. The gas was getting to him; he was slouching and stumbling. I knew if I could just distract him long enough, the gas would eventually kill him. I asked him how he would get the antidote if he didn't know his own number. I expected him to think about it for a long time, maybe get frustrated. I wasn't expecting what came next.

I watched, my eyes growing by the second, as he cut at the back of his neck. Once he had the piece cut off and was still standing, I started to get scared. I had no idea how I was gonna get out of this.

I shrunk away from him, resigned to my fate, when Daniel leapt up. I had no idea he was holding one of the hacksaws until I saw Xavier collapse, blood pouring furiously from his neck. As he fell to his knees, he reached out for Daniel, but I held him steady, squeezing his arms with bruising force.

I tell myself I was holding so tightly _just _to keep Daniel from being pulled down by Xavier, but truthfully, I was also holding him to keep myself from collapsing in shock.

It was in that moment, seeing him somehow miraculously come back to me, watching him, despite his obvious aversion to both death and violence, do what he could to save my life, that I realized that I, at least for a moment, had something to live for.

TBC


	11. Another Piece Falls into Place

Daniel POV

As I was slowly fighting my way back to consciousness, my surroundings were gradually coming back into focus. Before long, I could feel the hard floor below me and the cold tile pressing against my back. I could smell the strong odor of the bathroom, the combination of decaying flesh and raw sewage.

I could hear voices.

Amanda and Xavier were talking and I focused on what they were saying. I heard footsteps and followed them with my ears, knowing they were Xavier's since I could still feel Amanda next to me. I heard his screams as well as her shocked gasps. I chose not to look, but instead to open my eyes slightly to see if there was something I could use to get us out of here if he came after us again once he was done with whatever the hell he was doing to himself.

My eyes immediately landed on a hacksaw, which, luckily, was right next to me. I subtly gripped it, trying to not let on that I was in fact alive.

As soon as I heard Xavier step towards us, I kicked him and then leapt to my feet, swinging the hacksaw. I gazed, my eyes open wide, as blood poured from Xavier's neck. My grip on the hacksaw slackened in my shock and I heard it clatter to the floor.

I think all three of us were just as shocked as each other. Amanda and Xavier thought I was dead, and I know Xavier never would have figured me to be the one to do something like that, especially to someone as big and as menacing as him.

I watched as he fell to his knees, grabbing onto my shirt on his way down, but Amanda held me upright, preventing me from falling. Tears came to my eyes and I started crying, nearly hyperventilating. Those tears were hard to explain. They were a result of all of the emotions running through me; the shock, the guilt, the relief. I couldn't believe I had killed someone, but at the same time, I felt strong for the first time in my life.

Not strong because I learned I was capable of bringing down another human being. I'm definitely _not _Eric fucking Matthews. I felt strong because I took a stand did what needed to be done in order to protect the two of us.

After we had both gotten ourselves under control, Amanda and I turned to each other and she threw her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly to her. I instantly returned the hug, wrapping my arms around her waist.

After a while, she pulled back and smiled at me. "I'm so happy to see you," she said with a slight chuckle. At that point, I was so exhausted, mentally, physically, emotionally, that all I could do was laugh, overjoyed that I had been strong enough to make it back from the brink of death, strong enough to be able to see her face again.

* * *

><p>She grabbed my hand and led me back up to the room we had started in. She immediately kneeled by the safe and opened it quickly, retrieving the antidote. She called me over and injected me. She gave a relieved sigh, but I just stared at her in confusion. She knew the combination to the safe already? How was that possible? I tried to ask her, but all I could get out was "How...?"<p>

She sighed and, after a minute, looked directly into my eyes. I don't know how I knew, but I just did. I knew she had been in on this game the whole time.

I shrank back from her, the betrayal I felt literally feeling like razorblades cutting across the inside of my chest.

"Daniel..."

She tried to come over to me, but I shot to my feet, trying to keep as much distance between us as I could, which felt weird and wrong. Like my body knew that being away from her was not something it was naturally designed to do.

I tried to step further away, but I immediately started to get lightheaded. I had a feeling it had to do with the gas. Even though I had just been given the antidote, the gas wasn't fully out of my system yet. As I sat back down, I felt another pinch in my arm, but before I could see what it was, the world went black.

TBC


	12. Memories

Amanda POV

After I had fully composed myself, releasing my hold on Daniel and retracting my face from its place at the crook of his neck, where I was simply enjoying breathing in his scent and feeling his pulse, I bought him back to the room with the safe and got the antidote to give to him. Once the needle's contents had been emptied into his system, I breathed a sigh of relief, but when I looked at Daniel, all I could see was confusion. I knew the truth would have to come out sooner or later, and I guess now would be that time. I had to brace myself, knowing he probably wouldn't take it well.

It turned out that I didn't even have to tell him I was involved with the games; he could see it clearly in my eyes as soon as I looked at him, but before I could explain any further, he jumped away from me.

I admit, only to myself, that that cut like a knife. I had built this intense connection to him, deep, binding, even if I _had _only spent a few hours with him. For him to so quickly repel me, silently condemning for what I'd done, it killed me.

I watched as he again sank to the floor. I guess the antidote hadn't fully taken effect yet. I took this as the opportunity to inject him with the sedative hidden in the back of the safe and watched as his eyes drifted shut.

* * *

><p>I didn't bring him to John right away. I couldn't bring myself to. Instead I sat beside him, raking my fingers through his hair, staring at his relaxed face and thinking about my life.<p>

I thought about my childhood, about my time in jail, my time on heroin. I thought about meeting Jill and trying and failing to get clean. I thought about my test...how that had sparked something in me, changed me.

I thought about John.

About what my life has been like since he took me in. The wise advice and the life lessons. The job he had given me and the trust he had in me that I would fulfill it.

I thought about everything that had happened in this house. The people that had been involved, their roles, their deaths, the change in perspective some of them showed, even if it was too late, meeting Daniel.

I thought about Daniel.

A small sad smile came to my lips. I knew I'd never meet another person like him. He was so damaged yet strong, flawed yet perfect. I had a feeling he had developed feelings for me just as I had for him.

I closed my eyes and let out a deep sigh. Life with Daniel could be so good...but I knew I couldn't have that. I had long ago realized that nothing good in this world is mine to possess. I would just soil it, forever tainting what was once perfect and pure.

I couldn't taint Daniel.

I slowly rose to my feet and, though it practically took all of my strength, lifted Daniel into my arms. I brought him to the van parked behind the house and placed him in the passenger seat, buckling his limp body so he wouldn't fall to the floor. I drove back to the warehouse, taking as long as I possibly could.

When I finally arrived, I looked over at Daniel's still sleeping face one more time before getting out and carrying him inside. I placed him on the floor in the room where John was currently working on a sketch. He said that Hoffman was already on his way to the house to retrieve the safe and told me to get the oxygen mask for Daniel.

By the time I had returned with the mask, so had Hoffman with the safe. I placed the mask over Daniel's face, bound his wrists, and gently placed him in the safe, giving one of his hands one last squeeze, knowing that would have to sustain me while, and probably long after, Eric was put through his test.

TBC

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><p>I'm so sorry these two chapters aren't very long. But the next part this story goes into I felt needed to be separated from this chapter. Please review to let me know your thoughts. :)<p> 


	13. A Change of Scenery

Daniel POV

Darkness.

The next time I woke up, that was the only thing I could see. Complete and utter darkness. I started to panic and tried to move around, but I couldn't get very far. I took a minute to just take a deep breath and think. After everything that happened in that house, I had learned to think everything through, calculate my actions, if I was in an unfamiliar situation.

I couldn't move my hands; I could tell they were bound with something. I brushed my fingers downwards and felt the rope that was holding my wrists in place.

I could also feel something on my face, but I could breathe, quite easily actually. Was I wearing some kind of mask or something to help me breathe? Why would someone who wanted to hurt or kill me give me that? Why did I need it?

That last question was answered when I realized I was in a really small space. I couldn't tell what it was, but I was definitely cramped into something. Maybe I was locked in a trunk? Or a really small room? But I could feel the cold cement against my back. This didn't feel like a room, or a trunk, for that matter.

I tried to listen to see if I could hear anyone outside, but I couldn't hear a thing. After hours of waiting for any kind of clue, I was exhausted. I fell into a rather uncomfortable, but much needed sleep, my head lolling back against the cold cement wall.

* * *

><p>I don't know how long I spent in that small space, but it felt like forever. It was at least a couple days. I started to worry no one would ever come back to get me and I'd eventually die there, helpless and alone.<p>

Finally, I began to hear voices outside. I tried my best to make some sort of noise to let whoever it was out there where I was, but no one even came closer in my direction. A few hours later, however, I heard a loud creaking and watched as light slowly filtered its way in. Before I knew it, some cops had pulled me out and I was in an ambulance, on my way to the hospital.

Once I was settled into my hospital room, I began to think. I thought about Amanda and all the conflicting feelings I had for her. I felt betrayed and pissed off. How could she have been in on this game? How could she not _tell me_? But at the same time, I could still feel that affection for her, the bond we had formed in the house. That hadn't gone away, not in the slightest. I threw my head back in frustration when Detective Kerry let herself into my room. Fucking fantastic.

She immediately started grilling me about everything that had happened, everything I knew. I gave her the general gist of everything but withheld as many details as possible...and I made no mention of Amanda being involved with Jigsaw. When Kerry had come in, I was still torn when it came to Amanda, but as Kerry kept badgering me, I guess my subconscious...or maybe my conscience...decided for me. I couldn't just turn her in. She was too important to me. Plus, I didn't know all the facts. Regardless of what would happen from here, I needed to talk to her. Another small incentive for not telling Kerry, of course, was that it would keep that self-satisfied look off her face. I knew she fed off the Jigsaw case. It was a drug to her, and the last thing I wanted was to see that bitch given even more shit she didn't deserve.

After questioning me for about an hour, Kerry left and I was once again left alone with my thoughts. A few minutes later, I heard a nearly silent rapping on the door. I turned, ready to bite off the head of whomever it was if it was either Kerry or another fucking cop to ask me more questions. My words died on my lips and the scowl fell from my face when I saw who it was.

Amanda.

TBC


	14. Punishment

Amanda POV

Whatever fuckin' higher power in charge of making me suffer was a fucking genius. I could hear when Daniel finally came to, moving around inside the safe, trying to escape. I couldn't bring myself to leave the room; I just sat on the floor next to the safe and let the tears silently slide down my face. I placed my hand against the cold surface, wishing that he could just feel my presence.

This was the cruelest punishment I'd ever received. I hated not being able to help him, knowing he was probably scared out of his mind. When John came into the room, I quickly swiped at my eyes and left for my area, trying to pull myself together. I sat on my cot, shaking slightly. I tried to resist the urge, but it was no use. I pulled out my lockbox and took out my favorite knife. I pulled down my pants and slowly dragged the blade across my thigh. I made sure I worked as slowly as possible. I wanted to feel every second, pressing firmly and deeply into my skin.

When I was done, I pulled my pants back up and put everything away. I curled into myself on my cot and just wished for this all to be over soon.

* * *

><p>When the day finally came for Eric's test, I was more relieved than anything else, not because I knew he would get what he deserved, but simply because Daniel would finally be freed from the safe. As I got ready to return to the house to wait in the bathtub, I glanced over at the safe. I walked over and placed my hand against it once more before leaving.<p>

* * *

><p>I hadn't expected Eric to work as fast as he did. As soon as I had injected him with the sedative, I placed his leg in the shackle and waited for him to awaken and play his tape. After sliding the door to the bathroom shut, I started walking, but I had to stop. The guilt was getting to me.<p>

What would Daniel say if he knew that I left his father to die in the bathroom where he had killed Xavier? I couldn't stand the idea of him hating me any more than he probably already did.

And, regardless of how much I despised his entire existence, I felt a minute pinch of guilt for leaving Eric in there. Maybe it was because of all the time I had spent as a kid locked away in dark places.

I stood in one of the hallways, my hands practically pushing my eyes into the back of my head, just trying to convince myself to get the hell out of there and not turn around.

When I at last composed myself, I continued walking, but it wasn't long before I heard Eric's voice from behind me.

He had already made it out of the bathroom.

That was when I started panicking. My eyes darted around, trying to find the nearest exit, but I wasn't close to any of the doors. I hid behind a set of pipes and waited, my heartbeat pounding in my ears.

Once he had passed me, I thought I was in the clear, so I slowly made my way back out into the hallway.

The pipe shot to the chest told me I had been mistaken.

After the second blow, I tried to crawl away, but the son of a bitch was relentless, even sinking his teeth into my fucking leg. As he started bashing my head against a wall, he began asking me where "his son", even though Daniel was hardly that to him, was.

Right. Because I was definitely gonna tell this asshole where Daniel was so he could do something like this to him if god forbid Daniel were to piss him off.

I stayed silent until he called me a "junkie bitch", only because I knew I never would have been a fuckin junkie if it hadn't been for the piece of shit currently beating the shit out of me. When he asked again where Daniel was, I couldn't resist; Daniel and I were more alike, and more bound to each other than he and Eric would ever be. As I went to kick his injured foot, I responded,

"_Right fuckin' here."_

* * *

><p>I tried to leave it at that. I <em>wanted <em>to leave it at that. I slowly started to make my way back out when I could no longer take his taunts.

"_You're nothing! You're not Jigsaw, bitch!"_

It was a combination of things that made me turn around and eventually beat the shit out of Eric Matthews, leaving him for dead.

It was the memories of my parents constantly saying the same thing to me he had just said, of trying and failing over and over again to get clean; it was my anger at the probability of never seeing Daniel again.

* * *

><p>Once I left Eric, I went back to the van and just sat behind the wheel, thinking. If I went back to the warehouse now, John would no doubt ask me what happened, why my face was covered in blood.<p>

Not really sure why I felt the need to torture myself, I made my decision and made a sharp turn in the direction of the hospital.

TBC


	15. Choices

Amanda POV

As soon as I entered the hospital, the first thing I did was look for a bathroom so I could clean at least some of the blood and shit off my face. I kept my head down, hiding my face from view, and entered the nearest bathroom. Once what was left was mostly just bruises and gashes that were no longer bleeding, I went back out and spotted Detective Kerry talking to Detective Rigg. She was probably here to grill Daniel already. I swear that woman has no fucking shame.

I followed closely behind her and, sure enough, saw her enter Daniel's room. I caught a glimpse of him lying in the bed before the door shut. I waited around the corner for what had to be at least an hour. Shit, this woman really was a fucking machine, cold and heartless. Didn't she know he would need rest after being through hell the last few days?

When she finally left, I slowly crept up to the door, and raised my fist to knock, but at the last second I hesitated, worried about what his reaction would be to seeing me.

My need to see him overpowered my fear, though, and I gently knocked on the door. I opened the door silently and slipped into the room, closing the door behind me. I looked up just as Daniel turned his head in my direction. The only emotion I could read on his face was surprise. Feeling my confidence somewhat building, I stepped towards his bed. He just kept staring, not saying a thing. When I could no longer take the silence, I decided to start.

"Hey."

* * *

><p>Daniel POV<p>

At first, I was speechless. It wasn't until she spoke that I was able to find my voice.

"What are you doing here?"

"I had to see you...and...explain."

"Explain? Explain how you lied to me, manipulated my emotions, and almost got me killed?"

At that point, I didn't know what I was doing. I was so angry about everything that had happened, and yet, all I wanted to do was touch her.

"No, Daniel, that's not it. I never lied to you and I didn't manipulate you. Everything I felt for you was real, whether it was for our best interests or not. Everything I told you was the truth."

I wanted so badly to believe her, so I finally took a deep breath and looked her directly in the eyes.

"Then explain. Everything."

* * *

><p>And that was exactly what she did. I got a mini-autobiography of Amanda Young as she stood before me, looking vulnerable as she talked about her childhood, angry as she talked about her time in jail, ashamed when talking about her time on drugs and what she did to get them when she was desperate enough.<p>

The whole time she was talking, I couldn't take my eyes away from her, amazed that someone like her could have gone through so much and still survived. When she had mentioned her cutting, I had subconsciously looked down at my own arms, staring at the lines no one knew were there, until I looked back up and saw Amanda giving me a knowing look.

By the time she had gotten to how she had become Jigsaw's apprentice, I could actually at least understand. She needed _something _in her life at the time, _someone_, and this guy, despite how fucked up he was, had offered her some form of stability and purpose.

Still, I knew she deserved more than the life she was living. She deserved someone the opposite of the people she had been surrounded by her whole life. She deserved to have someone who cherished her, who stood with her _unconditionally_, someone who would pick her up if she fell but wouldn't carry her.

"Amanda, why don't you leave all this now? You passed your test. You have nothing else to prove."

She gave me a sad smile and responded, "I owe this to John. He helped me. He was the only person who ever cared enough to truly help me change...the only one who's ever given a shit about me," she finished in a whisper. I looked at her, heartbroken at knowing that such a strong, beautiful yet wounded woman had really never had someone in her life before.

"But Amanda, isn't the point of his games to teach you to appreciate your life? To change your life? If you left and came with me, I would make it so you'd never have to feel a day of pain again. I could give you a life you could appreciate."

She closed her eyes and hung her head for a few moments before lifting her eyes to mine again. She looked torn, like she wanted what I was offering but wouldn't let herself have it.

"I couldn't do that to you. You have your whole life ahead of you now. You've learned to appreciate your life; you've been reborn. I can't mar that with all my shit."

I looked at her sternly and lifted my arms from beneath the sheet of my hospital bed, exposing the vast array of cuts.

"You see these? I'm not perfect. I'm tainted. Though I'd like to think I've become stronger after this whole thing, I know I'm still weak. I can't be fully "reborn" to a life I can appreciate if I have to live it alone. Don't you get it? You wouldn't tarnish my life; you'd elevate it."

I could tell that she was about to cry. She came closer to me and grabbed hold of my face, pulling me into a bruising kiss. I immediately returned it with just as much fire, running my hands through her spiky hair. When the need for air finally became too much, she pulled back and looked into my eyes.

"I gotta go," she said, her voice wavering with her tears.

And then she fled the room.

TBC

* * *

><p>Okay, so this story is winding down. Only a few more chapters to go, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to upload a short sequel that takes place a few years in the future, only Eric will still be alive. Let me know your thoughts. :)<p> 


	16. Decisions

**One Month Later**

_Three hours before the letter is found_

* * *

><p>Daniel POV<p>

It's been about a month since I was released from the hospital, and I haven't heard from or seen Amanda since. After she broke our kiss, she ran out of the room, the tears in her eyes about to fall. I had just sat there dumbfounded. When our lips had connected, it was like all the emotions we shared, the pain, the longing, the anger, the love, exploded in an electric spark, consuming the entire room.

This was what it was supposed to feel like. This was how life was supposed to be.

In the month since then, I've tried to go back to my normal life and continue on like it didn't happen, but I couldn't. It was like the Matrix, only I had been shown the real world and learned the truth but had to return to the artificial world of lies.

My mom just assumed my lack of desire to talk or pretty much interact with anyone was just a result of the shock from the "game". I couldn't bring myself to tell her the truth; this wasn't something she could fix.

The only person I told was Luis. He and I had been friends since we were little. I never had many friends and he was the only one I knew I could trust. I could tell he thought I was crazy for falling for Amanda, but at the same time, he understood. He knew I had a lot of personal shit to deal with, though he didn't necessarily know all the gory details, so he was happy that I had at least found someone that had made me want to actually _live _my life, but upset at the way things had turned out.

Luis and I were currently in my room, just laying around, talking about nothing. I was startled when I saw my window slide open and watched with wide eyes as someone gracefully stepped through.

Amanda.

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><p>Amanda POV<p>

_But Amanda, isn't the point of his games to teach you to appreciate your life? To change your life?_

His words had stuck with me long after I'd left the hospital, long after I'd broken down in sobs in the van, after I'd returned to the warehouse and added another line to my thigh.

As much as I appreciated what John had done for me, and as much as I feared that if I attached myself to Daniel I would only bring him down with me, those words had struck a nerve with me.

The point of the games is to make the subjects appreciate their lives, and though I did appreciate the fact that I was alive, I knew I wasn't really living _my _life. I knew I was a tool, a tool John could use in order to accomplish what he wanted, easily disposable if I were to ever fuck up.

I finally realized that if I really wanted to appreciate my life...I'd have to start living it.

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><p>I left a letter for John, telling him how I appreciated all he'd done but I couldn't do it anymore. I told him I was going to live my life, never forgetting what he'd taught me.<p>

I packed the few things I had, mostly clothes, into a duffel bag. I pulled out my lockbox and stared at it. I thought about the new life I could have, what it could be like, starting over again...with Daniel.

I threw the box and all its contents away.

I took the license plates off one of the vans and threw my bag in the back. On my way to Daniel's house, I thought about what he would say, worried that he'd reject what I had to offer. Then I remembered the kiss we had shared in the hospital. I knew I had to try, and if he turned me down...well, I'd just cross that bridge when I came to it.

I parked the van by a group of trees across from Daniel's house, thankful for the dark of the night. Luckily, I knew which window was Daniel's and how to get up there, due to all that time I'd spent shadowing him. I scaled the side of the house and slid the window open. Once I was inside, I looked around and saw Daniel, with a look of shock and awe on his face, and his friend, looking at me with a startled expression on his.

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><p>Daniel POV<p>

I couldn't believe my eyes. I had been thinking of pretty much nothing but her the last month and then she was just...here. I shook my head to get me out of my surprised stupor and walked closer to her.

"What are you doing here?"

She gazed at me, uncertainty clouding her face. She closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath.

"If I were to do what you said...leave my life behind to start a new one with you, would you do the same? Would you leave your life here behind, possibly never being able to see anyone you knew ever again?"

I was floored. I'd spent the past month absolutely miserable, trying and failing to cope with the idea of never seeing her again and now all of the sudden, here she was, offering me everything I wanted; everything I asked of her and more.

My answer came quickly.

"Yes."

I think I caught her off guard with both my answer and the speed with which it came.

"Are you sure? Because once you decide, there's no turning back. Once they discover my hand in everything, you'd probably end up living with a fugitive."

I couldn't help it. Despite the somber tone with which she was speaking and knowing just how serious this whole situation was, I smiled.

"I'm positive."

She let out a short breath and a smile graced her lips.

"Okay. We have to start moving. Pack up all the shit you wanna take."

I immediately complied, pulling out an old duffel bag from the top of my closet and filling it with everything I felt I couldn't leave behind, which was pretty much just clothes, my cd player, and my music. I opened one of my drawers and saw the towel. The towel I kept my razors and knives and lighters wrapped in. I stared for a moment, thinking, with a light feeling in my chest I'd never known before, that I'd never need to use them again. I picked up the towel, keeping everything wrapped inside it, and tossed it in my garbage can.

I was done packing within minutes and turned to Amanda.

"Can I write my mom a letter to leave for her?"

She gave me a slight smile and nodded her head, for which I was grateful. Though I knew I wanted to start a new life with Amanda and was more than ready to leave behind everything, I felt I needed to explain to my mom. My whole life, it had just been me and her, and I didn't want her to think I resented her in any way. I wanted her to see that this was about me and what I needed, not anything she did.

I turned to my desk to grab some paper and a pen, but was met with Luis, holding out a pen and a notebook.

He gave me a sad smile and I put the notebook and pen down on my bed and pulled him into a hug.

"I'm gonna miss the hell outta you, man, but I know this'll be good for you." He pulled back and gave me a smile before walking over to Amanda.

"You take care of him, alright?"

I chuckled slightly at his tone; he sounded like a damn dad.

Amanda nodded her head and looked him directly in the eyes.

"I will; I promise. I won't let anything happen to him."

Luis smiled and pulled her into a quick hug, which she clearly was not expecting. As he made his way to my window so my mom wouldn't come up here and ask why he was leaving in the middle of the night, he turned back to me and said, "You make sure you keep in touch, alright?" Even if you can't for a while...just send me somethin' to let me know you're alright."

I nodded and watched him exit through the window.

I turned to Amanda and smiled. We were really gonna do this.

She returned my smile with what was probably the biggest one I'd ever seen on her face and nodded towards my desk.

"Get writing. We gotta make sure we can be out of town before sunrise."

I nodded and turned back to my desk, sitting down to write my letter. I heard Amanda plop down on my bed and smiled to myself.

I could get used to this.

TBC

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><p>Life Begins Anew is almost over! Wow! I think there will be one more chapter before I start the sequel. Thank you so much to all of you who have been reading this and especially to those who have reviewed, favorited, or added it to your alert list! Please let me know what you think.<p> 


	17. Understanding

**Author's Note: **I am SO sorry it has taken so long to get this chapter up! I've been moving so I haven't been able to write for about the last week, and then this site wouldn't let me upload for the past 24 hours or so once I had this done. I wasn't sure if I was going to put Daniel's letter in the story or just describe it, but since I haven't updated in so long, I figured I owed it to you all to include the letter...I just hope it doesn't suck. And...I've decided this story will have one more chapter before the sequel. I wasn't sure if I was going to put it at the end of this story or the beginning of the next, but I finally decided it would fit better at the end here. Enjoy!

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><p>Jeanine POV<p>

My heart leaps into my throat as I stare at the piece of paper. I slowly pick it up, scared of what I'll find. Finally, closing my eyes, I take in a deep breath and open what Daniel has left for me. I hope that at the very least it's a letter saying he ran away or something...At least then I'd know he wasn't taken.

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><p><em>Mom,<em>

_I'm so sorry to have to do this in a letter, but there really was no other way for me to be able to say all that I needed to say to you._

_First of all, I want you to know how much I love you. My entire life, it's been you and me and I've appreciated everything you've done for me. I know it was never easy, especially when you and Eric were still married. I only wish I could have protected you better._

_Even though I know you tried your best with me, I still had a lot of issues. I was...and still somewhat am bitter about the whole Allison Kerry thing, but I know there is nothing I can do about it now. But between that and everything else he put us through over the years, combined with me just really having nothing to look forward to in the morning...nothing to live for, I started cutting myself years ago. Eventually I started shoplifting for the same reason. I just needed some release._

_Now, PLEASE don't blame yourself. The reason I never came to you to tell you all this is because there was nothing you could have done. I know it would have just hurt you more and I didn't want you to overreact. Just know that nothing you did had anything to do with the choices I made._

_Now, let's jump to the Jigsaw ordeal. While I was in that house, a lot of things changed for me. Yes, what happened in there was horrible, but I became stronger in there. I learned to take control of my life._

_The most amazing part of it all is that amidst all that violence and pain...I met someone. Someone I could connect to...in a way I've never been able to connect to another person...before or after._

_While we were in the house, I got to see how strong she was, and how much she was willing to sacrifice for other people. But I also realized she was damaged. She, like the other people in the house, was set up by Dad. Only, it was worse for her because she had already been torn down so much when she was younger._

_I got to learn about her life when she came to visit me in the hospital. I'm not sure she's ever had a day of happiness in her life, even though I don't think I've ever met anyone besides you who deserved one more. She was abused and neglected by her parents and so she started cutting herself like me._

_Then, Dad planted drugs on her and she got sent to prison. While she was in there, she struggled with not being able to cut anymore, causing her ultimately to turn to heroin. By the time she got out, she was addicted. She tried over and over to quit, but she couldn't. Then, Jigsaw put her in a trap and she passed. She was his first survivor. That just shows how strong she really is._

_I'm not going to tell you everything about her because I don't want to get her in more legal trouble, but just know that she did some more things cops would probably look down upon._

_But she's changed now. I'm telling you all this because I want you to understand. In that house, I met a woman who was damaged like me, but strong, and who made me stronger. While we were in there, we protected each other. There were times when she could have left me to die, but she didn't._

_And now, she's made a decision that will affect the rest of our lives...which is why I'm writing you this letter. The life she's been living recently is one that is not easily escapable. You can't just decide to leave. But, I asked her to leave it behind for me, so I could give her the kind of life she deserves. Tonight she relented, so, since she can't safely stay here, we have to leave. I'm not sure yet where we're going, but I know we'll be okay. I'll make sure to write you when I can. I love you so much and I hope you can understand why I needed to do this. This is what we've both been needing for so long._

_I'll talk to you soon._

_Love, Daniel_

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><p>For a long time, I couldn't even blink. I just stared at the letter in shock. I read through it again and slowly sank down into the chair at his desk.<p>

He ran away. He ran away with some girl he met in that horrible Jigsaw game. But he ran away to start a new life with her. He sounded happy...happier than I've seen him in a long time.

I read over the letter again and couldn't help the small smile that crept across my face. If this was as real as he made it sound, then he had finally found what I had always wanted for him. What I had never had with Eric.

Real love. A _real _relationship. With Eric, I was always inferior and scared. I was his damn subordinate and he was like a goddamn emperor stomping around his palace.

If Daniel has found a true partnership, where they will love each other and take care of each other and protect each other, then I couldn't be happier.

I carefully refolded the letter and brought it to my room, smile still planted on my face. I could only hope I'd hear from him soon so I'd know they were okay.

TBC


	18. Mutual Thanks

Jeanine POV

It was about two weeks later that I received a second letter.

I had just gotten home from work and was going through the mail. I was still trying to get used to the fact that Daniel was gone. Coming home and knowing the house would be empty was something I still had to get used to.

Between all the junk mail and bills, I saw a plain white envelope addressed to me but with no return address on it. I opened it and found a single piece of paper. I unfolded it and began to read.

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><p><em>Jeanine,<em>

_I don't exactly know how you feel about me, but considering I'm sure I've pretty much turned your world upside down, I wanted to write you this letter just to kind of reassure you._

_I know Daniel wrote you a letter before he and I left, though I have no idea what he said in it. I can guess that he mentioned he and I meeting in the gas house as part of a Jigsaw game. You have no idea how much my life changed that day._

_I wasn't looking for something out of Daniel. In fact, I hadn't been looking for any kind of connection for years. I had long ago come to the conclusion that that was something that just wasn't in the cards for me. I felt I didn't deserve one._

_Right from the beginning, though, I saw something in Daniel. He was so kind and gentle...to total strangers, even. And I could see so much of myself in him. Again, I don't know what Daniel told you in his letter, but I've lived what could probably be listed as the definition of a fucked up life. A lot of the things I'm sure no one else noticed about Daniel I easily saw because they were things I had done or feelings I had._

_He saved my life. I want you to know that. He saved my life in more ways than one. For the first time in my life, someone has made me feel like I'm important to them. That I matter. That's the most incredible feeling in the world._

_I'm sorry I've basically robbed you of your son, but the life I've been living isn't one I can just choose to leave. It's far more complicated than that. There would be consequences from one side for staying and from the other side for leaving._

_But I know this is what Daniel wants, and honestly, it's what I want to. I know I'm putting him in danger by having him with me, but I also know that it would do more damage to both of us if we were to be apart. I can promise you that I will do everything in my power to protect him and make him happy. He IS what I'm living for now._

_I hope you can remember this when the time comes when you hear about the things I've done. We have begun a new life now with our pasts left behind us._

_Speaking of which, I know you must be wondering where we are. Since we have to be careful, I can't tell you exactly where we are, but I can tell you that we are far away, safe, and content. I'm sure he or I will contact you when we can so you know we are okay._

_I hope you can understand why we had to do this and that you do not hate me for this. I can honestly say that I love your son. I love him. He's the first and only person I've ever been able to say those words about. Thank you so much for raising such an amazing human being. I know I have you alone to thank._

_Amanda_

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><p>To say receiving that letter was a shock would be an understatement. If anything, I had expected a letter from Daniel, but, to be honest, I think I appreciate this letter more than I would have one from him.<p>

I'm so glad this Amanda woman wrote me. I can see now that the feelings Daniel has for her are not only valid but returned. I can see she cares for him and will protect him...as I hoped she would. She asks me not to hate her. How can I? How could I possibly hate the person who has given my son everything I've always wanted for him in life? The person who loves him and has sacrificed for him, who understands him? The one who _lives for him_? The one he _lives for_?

All I _can_ do is be thankful to her. I know now that no matter what she's done, that will never change. It could be revealed that she was the female version of Charles Manson and it honestly wouldn't make a difference to me. As they both said, she's changed and, more importantly, she loves my son...and that's all I could ever ask.

I just hope they contact me again soon so I can tell her that.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>Okay, so, that is the end of Life Begins Anew. I know it may seem like an odd place to end it, but I really wanted to have a letter from Amanda to Daniel's mom just so she could reassure her that they had made the right decision. I hope it wasn't too bad.

I should be starting the sequel soon. :D I'm thinking it will be pretty short...only a few chapters...but then again, I didn't expect this to be 18 chapters either so who knows? The sequel will take place a few years after this story with certain things being different from in the series since Amanda would no longer be part of the games after Saw II. The most important difference will be that Eric will be alive. So tune in for that. I'm still working on a title for the sequel.

Thank you so much for reading this story! You have no idea how much I appreciate every single one of you, and special thanks to those who have reviewed, favorited, or added this to their alert lists. That seriously makes me so happy.


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